If you’ve landed on this page, you’re probably dealing with something that feels deeper and more persistent than an ordinary rough patch. Maybe you recognize patterns in yourself or your relationships that keep repeating — intensity, withdrawal, volatility, or a way of relating that seems to take over no matter how hard you try to change it. Maybe you’ve been told you have borderline or narcissistic traits — or maybe you love someone who does. Either way, you’re looking for a therapist who actually understands how these patterns work and who won’t reduce you (or the person you care about) to a label.
I approach personality and relational patterns with nuance, compassion, and clinical depth — including patterns that are sometimes described diagnostically as personality disorders. These patterns develop for reasons — usually rooted in early relational experiences — and they can shift with the right kind of therapeutic work. I offer support both for individuals navigating these traits in themselves and for partners and family members who are trying to understand and cope. This work falls under my broader individual therapy practice.
Whether you're here for yourself or for someone you love, you deserve a therapist who sees the full picture — not just the diagnosis.
Schedule a free consultation →What’s Actually Going On
Personality disorders exist on a spectrum, and most people who struggle with these patterns don’t fit neatly into a single diagnostic box. Borderline personality traits often involve intense emotional reactivity, fear of abandonment, unstable self-image, and difficulty maintaining consistent relationships. Narcissistic traits can show up as grandiosity and entitlement, but just as often appear as deep vulnerability, sensitivity to criticism, and a fragile sense of self that depends heavily on external validation.
What both patterns share is that they typically develop as adaptations to early environments where emotional needs weren’t consistently met. The child learns to protect themselves in the only ways available — whether through emotional intensity, withdrawal, performance, or control. These strategies work in childhood, but they create significant problems in adult relationships, work, and inner life.
If you’re the partner or family member of someone with these traits, your experience matters too. Living with someone whose emotional world is unpredictable can leave you feeling confused, exhausted, and unsure of your own perceptions. Understanding what’s actually happening — and learning how to respond in ways that protect your own wellbeing — is a legitimate and important focus for therapy. You can learn more about what therapy for borderline personality traits actually involves.
How Therapy Helps
My approach draws heavily on Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT), which focuses on strengthening your ability to understand your own mental states and those of the people around you. When mentalization breaks down — when you can’t accurately read what’s happening in your own mind or someone else’s — that’s when the most painful interpersonal cycles tend to unfold. MBT helps you slow down those moments and build a more accurate, flexible understanding of yourself and your relationships.
For individuals with borderline traits, this means developing greater emotional regulation, a more stable sense of self, and the ability to stay connected to others even during conflict or distress. For those with narcissistic traits, the work often involves building genuine self-worth that doesn’t depend on performance or admiration, and developing the capacity for empathy and vulnerability that deeper relationships require.
For partners and family members, therapy provides a framework for understanding the patterns you’re caught in, tools for setting boundaries without guilt, and support for making decisions about the relationship from a place of clarity rather than reactivity. Whether you stay or go, you deserve to make that choice with full understanding of what you’re dealing with.
These patterns can change. The first step is working with someone who understands how.
Schedule a free consult →What Therapy Looks Like
Sessions are weekly, 53 minutes, and grounded in a collaborative therapeutic relationship. The early phase focuses on understanding your history, your current relational patterns, and what brings you in now. From there, we work together to identify the moments when mentalization breaks down and to build new capacities for staying curious about your own experience and others’. I bring training in both psychodynamic approaches and specialized modalities for personality disorders to this work — and that depth of understanding makes a real difference.
Practical Details
I’m located in Pittsburgh and also offer online sessions throughout Pennsylvania. This is a private-pay practice, and evening and Sunday appointments are available. If you’re unsure whether this is the right fit — especially if you’re navigating a complex diagnostic picture — a free consultation is a great place to start.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are personality and relationship patterns, and how are they different from other mental health concerns?
These are patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that have been consistent over a long time — what clinicians sometimes call personality disorders, usually starting in adolescence or early adulthood. Unlike depression or anxiety, which come and go, personality disorder patterns are pervasive—they affect how you relate to yourself and others across most situations. The key distinction is that these patterns typically cause distress or problems in relationships or work, and they’re often ego-syntonic, meaning you might not see them as a problem at first because they feel normal from the inside. You might experience the consequences—failed relationships, job loss, conflict—but not recognize the pattern. That’s different from anxiety, where you know something feels wrong. Personality disorders involve deeply rooted ways of organizing experience, perceiving others, and relating to the world.
Does a personality disorder diagnosis define who I am?
A diagnosis is a description of patterns, not a definition of who you are or your worth. I’m careful about how we use diagnostic language because I’ve seen it either help people understand themselves or harm them by making them feel labeled and hopeless. A diagnosis can be useful—it gives language to patterns you’ve felt but couldn’t name, it connects you to research about what helps, and it can reduce shame by framing this as something understandable rather than a personal failing. But you’re never just a diagnosis. You’re a person with strengths, history, context, and capacity for change. The diagnosis is a tool for understanding and treating the patterns that are causing you difficulty, not a fixed label. In our work, we’ll use the diagnosis if it’s helpful, and we’ll move past it when that makes sense.
What does therapy for deep personality and relational patterns actually look like?
It’s different from therapy for depression or anxiety because we’re working with entrenched patterns, not just symptoms. The work is longer-term and more relational. We start with a thorough assessment to understand how these patterns developed, where they came from in your history, and what function they serve. Then we work on building awareness—noticing when you’re in these patterns in real time, understanding what triggers them, and recognizing the impact on your relationships. Therapy involves developing new skills and ways of relating. We might work on emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and self-awareness. We also address the shame and defenses that protect these patterns. The relationship between us is part of the healing—you experience being in a relationship where you’re understood without judgment, where your patterns can show up and be observed, and where change becomes possible. This takes time and commitment, but it works.
How long does therapy for personality and relational patterns typically take?
There’s no universal timeline, and I’m honest about that from the start. Some people see meaningful change in 6-12 months. Others work for several years. It depends on several factors: which personality patterns you’re working with, how deeply rooted they are, your motivation and capacity to tolerate discomfort, whether you’re also managing trauma, and your life circumstances. What I know is that personality disorder therapy isn’t usually a quick fix. These patterns have been operating for years, so expecting them to shift in a few months sets us up for disappointment. What I also know is that people do change. The patterns loosen, you develop real choice in how you respond, relationships improve, and you feel more like yourself. That takes time, but it’s worth it. We’ll track progress together and adjust our approach if needed. I’ll give you a sense of what to expect as we go.
Can these patterns really change, or am I stuck with this forever?
These patterns are absolutely changeable, though the word “cure” might not be the right frame. What changes is the intensity, rigidity, and impact of these patterns. Someone with narcissistic patterns can develop genuine empathy and more flexible thinking. Someone with borderline patterns can build emotional stability and secure relationships. Someone with avoidant patterns can develop capacity for intimacy. What research shows is that with committed therapy, people make substantial progress. The patterns don’t usually disappear completely—some of the underlying temperament remains—but they become much less rigid and much less destructive. The goal isn’t to become a totally different person. It’s to develop flexibility, choice, awareness, and the capacity to relate to yourself and others with more honesty and compassion. That’s very much possible, and I’ve seen it happen in therapy many times.
Ready to Get Started?
Schedule a free consultation to discuss how therapy can help.
Schedule a Free ConsultationFurther Reading
The Two Faces of Narcissism: Understanding Grandiose and Vulnerable Traits in Relationships.
Understanding Borderline Personality Traits: Finding Hope and Stability Through Therapy.
What Are Your 5 Shadow Adjectives? A Guide to Deeper Self-Awareness
The Gilded Cage: When Your Success is a Defense Against Your Past