If you are concerned about what is often called ‘sex addiction,’ or feel that your sexual thoughts and behaviors have become compulsive and out of control, you’ve come to a safe, non-judgmental place. While ‘sex addiction’ is a widely understood term, our clinical approach focuses on understanding these patterns as Problem Sexual Behavior (PSB) or Compulsive Sexual Behavior (CSB). This allows us to move beyond labels and focus on the underlying causes and a path to healing.
The Center for Mind & Relationship offers expert, non-judgmental therapy to help individuals understand the roots of their problematic sexual behaviors, regain control, and work towards a healthier, more fulfilling, and value-aligned expression of their sexuality. Our services are available in-person in Pittsburgh and securely online for residents of PA, NJ, NM, and RI.
Understanding ‘Sex Addiction: Problem Sexual Behavior (PSB) / Compulsive Sexual Behavior (CSB)
At The Center for Mind & Relationship, we use the term Problem Sexual Behavior (PSB) because it focuses on your unique experience of distress and loss of control. Clinically, many of these patterns are understood as Compulsive Sexual Behavior (CSB), which is characterized by a persistent failure to control intense sexual urges or behaviors. Our therapy addresses the problem from both perspectives: honoring your personal experience while applying established clinical knowledge about compulsive patterns.
Problem Sexual Behavior or Compulsive Sexual Behavior is not defined by the type of sexual interest or behavior itself, nor by a high libido (Blog: How to differentiate high sex drive and compulsive behavior). Instead, it is characterized by a persistent pattern where sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviors become:
Key Characteristics of ‘Sex Addiction’/PSB/CSB:
- Overwhelming and Time-Consuming: Dominating one’s thoughts and a significant portion of one’s day.
- Difficult to Control: Repeated unsuccessful attempts to cut back, manage, or stop the behaviors, despite a desire to do so.
- A Primary Coping Mechanism: Used to escape or numb difficult emotions like stress, anxiety, loneliness, boredom, or depression. (Understanding your defense mechanisms can shed light on these patterns).
- Escalating: A need for more intense or frequent sexual stimuli or behaviors to achieve the desired effect.
- Detrimental to Well-being and Functioning: Leading to significant personal distress (shame, guilt, anxiety, low self-esteem) and/or negative consequences in important life areas such as relationships, work, finances, or health.
Common manifestations can include (but are not limited to):
- Compulsive pornography use, also known as “porn addiction” (see our nuanced blog post on problematic porn use), excessive masturbation that interferes with life, and compulsive use of chat rooms or cybersex
- Compulsive Infidelity & Cheating Patterns
- Compulsive Use of Sex Workers and other risky or anonymous sexual encounters
- Preoccupation with Sexual Fantasies & Paraphilic Thoughts
- or other sexual behaviors that feel out of control and are causing harm.
- Do you often lose control over your sexual behavior, doing things you later regret?
- Do you spend an excessive amount of time thinking about, planning, or engaging in sexual behaviors?
- Have you tried to stop or reduce these behaviors but found you couldn’t?
- Are your sexual behaviors negatively impacting your relationships, work, studies, or finances?
- Do you feel significant shame, guilt, anxiety, or depression related to your sexual behaviors?
- Do you use sexual activity primarily to cope with stress, sadness, loneliness, or boredom?
- Have you found yourself needing to escalate the intensity or risk of your sexual behaviors to get the same effect?
- Are you hiding your behaviors from loved ones due to fear of their reaction?
If you answered “yes” to several of these, it may be beneficial to explore these concerns with a qualified therapist. Our general article on understanding CSB provides further context.
How ‘Sex Addiction’ Therapy Can Help You Regain Control and Heal
Therapy for PSB/CSB is a specialized process designed to help you:
Core Components of ‘Sex Addiction’ Therapy:
- Understanding Your Triggers and Patterns: Identifying the specific situations, emotions, thoughts, and underlying needs that fuel your compulsive behaviors.
- Developing Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Learning constructive alternatives for managing stress, difficult emotions, loneliness, and boredom without resorting to problematic sexual outlets.
- Managing Impulses and Urges Effectively: Acquiring practical skills from evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness to reduce the intensity and power of sexual urges and resist acting on them compulsively.
- Addressing Underlying Issues: Exploring and healing any co-occurring conditions such as anxiety, depression, past trauma, attachment difficulties, or low self-esteem that may be contributing to the CSB.
- Challenging Distorted Thinking: Identifying and reframing unhelpful or unrealistic beliefs about sex, self-worth, intimacy, and relationships that may perpetuate the cycle.
- Defining and Cultivating Healthy Sexuality: Working towards understanding and embracing a sexual expression that is consensual, respectful, aligned with your personal values, genuinely fulfilling, and free from compulsion and shame. (Read more about how a longing for a connection may be underneath sexual behavior.)
- Rebuilding Trust and Relationships: If PSB has damaged relationships, therapy can provide a space to work on accountability, repair, and rebuilding trust, often involving couples or family therapy components if appropriate. (Partners may find our article on supporting a loved one with CSB helpful).
- Developing a Solid Relapse Prevention Plan: Create strategies to maintain progress, manage high-risk situations, and address potential setbacks constructively.
Our Approach to ‘Sex Addiction’ Therapy at The Center for Mind & Relationship: Confidential, Expert, and Compassionate Care
We understand the courage it takes to address these deeply personal issues. Our therapeutic approach is:
- Non-Judgmental and Empathetic: We provide a safe, confidential, and supportive environment where you can explore your struggles without fear of shame or moralizing.
- Evidence-Based and Integrative: We draw upon effective therapeutic modalities, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness practices, motivational interviewing, and psychodynamic insights to create a tailored treatment plan.
- Focused on Strengths and Hope: While acknowledging the seriousness of PSB, we also focus on your inherent strengths and capacity for change, fostering hope for recovery and a healthier future.
- Collaborative: We work with you as a partner in your healing journey, respecting your autonomy and goals. We may also collaborate (with your explicit consent) with other professionals if you are receiving treatment for co-occurring issues like substance use disorders.
Taking the Courageous Step: You Are Not Alone, and Lasting Change is Possible
The shame and secrecy surrounding Problem Sexual Behavior often prevent individuals from seeking the help they need and deserve. Please know that PSB is a treatable behavioral health concern, not a life sentence or a reflection of your fundamental worth as a person. Reaching out is the first, most courageous step towards reclaiming your life. If you’re hesitating to start therapy, we encourage you to explore those feelings.
Frequently Asked Questions About ‘Sex Addiction’ Therapy
